This is what thinking about life gets me

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been awhile. I thought college would be crazy, but I didn't think about being Greek amongst all the college craziness. Granted it has made this semester worth every ounce of energy I've used, but homecoming was torture!!! Me and my Big were in charge of the float... never.again. I didn't sleep at all last week. Broke down on Thursday, and went crazy Saturday, but the 13 hours of sleep I got Saturday night helped make up for it a little bit.

A lot of things have been heavy on my heart here lately and I guess it's time I got them out.

I got a letter from my cousin and in it she talked about how she got a notebook to write letters to our Papa. She said she thought I would probably think it was nothing... little does she know I do that all the time. Sometimes I think it's only Papa that would understand something, part of that is just because he's gone and I want to talk to him, part of it is that it's true. I have his Alabama Jacket on the chair beside my bed. It's always good encouragement to keep going.

I have started listening to CHRISTMAS MUSIC already!!! I am STOKED about it!!! I was watching a Christmas movie with a friend last night and we were talking about what we do for Christmas and it kind of hit me... I don't know what I do. Yes, last Christmas and Thanksgiving should have been the ones that were hard on me. They were the 1st ones without my Papa and with my parents divorced. But I have a feeling this year will be way harder. This whole year has been harder.

This Christmas will be the first year we don't do Christmas on Christmas Eve with the Green's, I don't even know what we're doing with my dad's side. Everything is crazy. I like change, but this isn't the change I like. I want this stuff to stay the same... I think if it changes it's just a little more of Papa that won't be here. But I am still looking forward to the Christmas Story!!! It's my favorite part of Christmas!!!

I watched Freedom Writers tonight and it is totally what I want to do in Venezuela. It's about a teacher who unites different gang members. I want to do that but for girls who have been abused or who have family trouble. The teacher was a safe person that they could trust. I want to be that safe thing in someones life.

I love to talk to people about Venezuela. Partly because they always look at me like I'm crazy. Venezuela isn't the safest country and I always get the "Are you sure about this?" or "I'm not sure how I feel about this." The thing is, I have never felt more at peace about something before. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. I day dream all the time about what I'm going to do and how to set things up. I'm 1,000% sure this thing is God-Breathed. It's only when I'm thinking or praying do I get the ideas.... and then I can never get them out of my head!

The future seems so close. I'm almost finished with my first semester of college, I'm going on a mission trip to Trinidad this December(where you can look across the ocean and see Venezuela), and God is slowly putting things and people in my path to help me grow.

I got MEVP in my sorority which is really cool! I'm super stoked.... partly because I'm a control freak. Yea, don't judge. I'm so ready for Thanksgiving break to forget school for a week and hang out with my Family and Friends!!

Til Next Time,

Future Freedom Writer