A lot of things have been heavy on my heart here lately and I guess it's time I got them out.
I got a letter from my cousin and in it she talked about how she got a notebook to write letters to our Papa. She said she thought I would probably think it was nothing... little does she know I do that all the time. Sometimes I think it's only Papa that would understand something, part of that is just because he's gone and I want to talk to him, part of it is that it's true. I have his Alabama Jacket on the chair beside my bed. It's always good encouragement to keep going.
I have started listening to CHRISTMAS MUSIC already!!! I am STOKED about it!!! I was watching a Christmas movie with a friend last night and we were talking about what we do for Christmas and it kind of hit me... I don't know what I do. Yes, last Christmas and Thanksgiving should have been the ones that were hard on me. They were the 1st ones without my Papa and with my parents divorced. But I have a feeling this year will be way harder. This whole year has been harder.
This Christmas will be the first year we don't do Christmas on Christmas Eve with the Green's, I don't even know what we're doing with my dad's side. Everything is crazy. I like change, but this isn't the change I like. I want this stuff to stay the same... I think if it changes it's just a little more of Papa that won't be here. But I am still looking forward to the Christmas Story!!! It's my favorite part of Christmas!!!
I watched Freedom Writers tonight and it is totally what I want to do in Venezuela. It's about a teacher who unites different gang members. I want to do that but for girls who have been abused or who have family trouble. The teacher was a safe person that they could trust. I want to be that safe thing in someones life.
I love to talk to people about Venezuela. Partly because they always look at me like I'm crazy. Venezuela isn't the safest country and I always get the "Are you sure about this?" or "I'm not sure how I feel about this." The thing is, I have never felt more at peace about something before. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. I day dream all the time about what I'm going to do and how to set things up. I'm 1,000% sure this thing is God-Breathed. It's only when I'm thinking or praying do I get the ideas.... and then I can never get them out of my head!
The future seems so close. I'm almost finished with my first semester of college, I'm going on a mission trip to Trinidad this December(where you can look across the ocean and see Venezuela), and God is slowly putting things and people in my path to help me grow.
I got MEVP in my sorority which is really cool! I'm super stoked.... partly because I'm a control freak. Yea, don't judge. I'm so ready for Thanksgiving break to forget school for a week and hang out with my Family and Friends!!
Til Next Time,
Future Freedom Writer